Showing posts with label testing. Show all posts

8dp5dt: Just keep swimming

Sorry, I've been a bit absent.  Truth be told, I wanted a little time to catch my breath from the past couple of days.  On 5dp5dt, I was feeling really, really bummed because I didn't feel anything.  By anything, I mean anything.  I have been pregnant before.  I've even had chemical pregnancies advance with pretty convincing symptoms.  This time I felt nothing.  Not even a little bit.  I was disappointed and figured I was out completely.  So, I decided to log onto Instagram and saw several of my fellow #TTCsisters showing pregnancy tests at 5 and 6 days past transfer with faint lines and not so faint lines. I figured if I wasn't feeling anything and the test could confirm that, then at least I would know right?  I am also more than able to admit that there was a part of me that would see a line on my test.  It worked...kind of.

I found a couple of tests still in the house from my last testing frenzy.  The problem is they were blue dye tests.  Every single false positive or chemical pregnancy test result I have ever received has been from a blue dye test.  So, while I didn't want to necessarily put my trust in the test, I used what I had and this happened....

Hope your resolution is up.  There's a faint blue line behind that horizontal.

I had a positive.  Faint, but it was there.  Or was it.  Because I have come to trust the honest opinions of the ladies in our #TTCcommunity, I posted the result and asked for opinions.  Everyone saw the same vertical blue line.  BUT, several of the sisters admonished me to remember what I already knew. Blue dye tests are unreliable.  They asked me to try the first response early response test.

Well, silly me, I grabbed the wrong ones and got the first response rapid response tests instead.  They don't provide early pregnancy results.  So, I came up with this when I tried.

The top two were taken 5dp5dt.  The bottom two were taken at 6dp5t.
The CBs are the only ones that register positive.

There were no clear positives on the FRRR tests.  So, discouraged, I promised myself that I would not test again until beta.  But I was fooling myself.  I was so disappointed because yesterday, all I felt was a bit of nausea.  Even that was come and go.  I just wanted to see the test again.  Just to be sure.

No doubt there, it's negative
And with that, here we are.  I will not test again.  I know the result.  I know that it's done.  I know that we we have to try again.  I know that we are fortunate to have five more chances before it's up for us. I am trying to have hope, but I'm pretty sure this cycle is a loss for us.

I'll keep you updated on Friday when we finally have our 14-day beta.

Have a great day.


The wait...

So, I took a test two days ago. I swore I saw a shadow, the shadow of a second line. I didn’t want to get excited because it was so faint. So faint I wasn’t sure it was even there. But my son saw it too, not even realizing what he was looking at. So, I took another yesterday. This time, it was a bit more shadow, but I could see it. It was there. I swore it was there. But, again, it was very, very faint. So I made an appointment with my ob/gyn to have blood drawn. The earliest time they could see me was 1000. I was there at 0930 because I was so nervous. Then, they told me I wouldn’t know until Monday at least since they don’t work on the weekends. Oh joy.

So, I drove back to my office, not feeling anything except crampy. I hoped that maybe it was implantation bleeding. With my son, on the day my cycle was due, I had what can only be described as an “explosion” pattern in my underwear and then nothing. I wiped and nothing. So, as I am at work, I go to the bathroom and observe creamy CM tinged with about three specks of brown blood. I wipe thinking I would see the beginning of my cycle like always. No. Nothing. Frustrated, I take another test, one of two remaining. BF N. I thought I saw a shadow, but….it could have been wishful thinking. I honestly don’t know.

All I know right now is I feel bloated, a bit crampy, and so confused…oh…and tired….I want a nap. All PMS symptoms, all possible pregnancy symptoms. And I won’t know which is which until Monday at least. Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I haven’t even told S. what’s going on. There is no need to tell him, get him excited, and then have him not excited. So, I’ll wait until Monday. Fortunately, there are a number of activities this weekend to keep my mind occupied. Let’s see how this goes.

Praying for positive.


Testing, testing 1, 2, 3...

Tomorrow S. and I will visit our RE’s office.  I will have my blood drawn and the nurses or doctor will inform S. and I if our first IUI was a success or a failure.  I don’t think I’ve been this nervous for a very long time.  I don’t even want to play the game of symptom checking any more.  I just want to know.

S. and I had a wonderful day yesterday.  He received a major honor in our community of faith.  We got to fellowship with friends and family afterwards.  It was wonderful.  But we were surrounded by beautiful pregnant bellies.  I laughed and smiled with them all while we shared memories of our pregnancies and they shared discoveries of new ones.  They asked when S. and I would have additional children.  Little do they know that we ask the same question silently to ourselves.  I really, really, really want to hear good news.  I’m told I still have to wait for a phone call just to let us know.  I hope not.  I don’t think I could stand waiting any more.  And remember, I’m still reeling from the BFN I received 11piui via the HPT (which was REALLY stupid of me to do).  I really, really want to be pregnant.  I want to see a light of pure joy in my husband's face and not the disappointment we've seen month after month when my cycle comes.  Here’s hoping tomorrow’s news will be wonderful.