Showing posts with label postpartum. Show all posts

Happy New Year..

Hello everyone!  Welcome to 2018.  A couple of weeks ago, I'd planned to do a countdown, a review of 2017, my #Infertility9 and all kinds of good stuff.  Then, my mother in love passed and I kind of didn't care about doing those things any more.  Funny how the importance of stuff changes from moment to moment.

Today, I'm feeling better about sharing and figured I'd touch on a bit of everything.  So let's begin.

2017 Review

What a year 2017 was.  We'd only JUST received our Beta on Christmas Eve in 2016 and here we were in January being discharged from our fertility clinic.  What an amazing and scary time that was.  Stepping away and debating about whom we would tell and how soon we would tell. We finally decided that, as we'd done in the past, we would allow God to direct our paths and He did in a major way.  We had a successful pregnancy, delivered a healthy baby girl (a shock to our #teamgreen guesses), and went through the fun of naming her.  In addition to the joys and highs of 2017, we faced sadness when my mother in love was called Home the day after Christmas.  The day before she'd been full of smiles.  Then, she was gone.  But we are still celebrating because we know exactly where she is and know we will see her again someday.

There's An App for That..

Wow, things have been pretty busy around here.  We’re adjusting to a new normal that includes scheduling, feedings, one-on-one time with the kiddos, and life.  There have been some successes and some misses as well (like my almost forgetting to purchase the chorus shirt for little S.’s chorus uniform and my forgetting to schedule my postpartum visit), but we keep pushing through and we make it work.  One of the things that has been a great help is the inclusion of apps in our lives.  Let me start with the ones for our middle schooler.

The return to work

You know it would be more than awesome if the mothers in the United States of America had the same maternity leave rights as mothers in other developed countries.  Canada and countries within Europe have up to 12 months to bond with their baby and it's fully paid.  I wouldn't even need 12 months.  But man, I would have loved to have had three months just to spend time and bond with baby girl.

Last week was my first week back at work. I walked in to clients' excited over my return and a mountain of catch up.  I immediately missed the baby, but I dived back into the tasks at hand and it definitely helped the time pass quickly.

Our sitter, who also happens to be a highly qualified and loving cousin, kept me smiling by sending pictures of the girls while I was away.  Before you know it, by week's end, I'd amassed quite an impressive to-do list.  Sigh, work sucks.

In pumping news, I have managed to get up to four ounces.  Yep, four whole ounces.  It's frustrating to say the least.  The good thing is I've been able to nurse the baby for several minutes and then I follow up with formula.  I nurse several times a day.  It just never seems to be enough to boost my supply.

I'm actually afraid of a repeat of what happened the last time I was pregnant.  My supply dried up.  It just decided that it didn't want to play any more.  It didn't matter how much I pumped or how much water I drank.  The supply went away. I think this time is going to be the same.

The great thing is I'm only fifteen minutes up the road and away from the baby.  The bad thing is I'm fifteen minutes up the road and away from the baby.  Man, this sucks.

Four weeks later...Baby blues and breastfeeding

Hello everyone!  I apologize for disappearing.  Quite honestly, I've been debating if I wanted to continue since this blog was initially started as a #TTC space.  I  didn't want to inundate readers with baby overload, but I still wanted to be able to share some information with everyone--especially since it has been a decade since my last birth experience.  After some self debate, I decided I would continue until I felt the opposite.  So, here we go.

Today, I feel pretty good.  Our beautiful baby girl is four weeks old.  She is starting to display her personality.  I recognize the warning "ah" she gives before launching into a cry if she isn't fed quickly.  We've finally gotten the hang of this nursing thing but we still have to supplement with formula because I'm just not producing enough for her appetite.  I was pretty bummed about that initially, but I'm much better about it now.  Plus, I needed the additional rest time because she did a number on my nipples (TMI).  Thankfully, Lansinoh has been a great tool!

I wish I could say it has been that great the entire time.  I developed baby blues this pregnancy.  I suppose it was a release of hormones and a combination of lack of sleep in the hospital.  It may have been the massively stupid disagreement that I had with S. in the car on the way back from the hospital or a hidden disappointment of how I thought things should have gone versus how they went when we got home.  Whatever the trigger was, I found myself overwhelmed and weepy.  I tried breastfeeding and the little one couldn't get the latch correct.  My nipples were a raw and bleeding mess.  I kept trying because with our first, I had no issue.  This time I could barely hold the baby on my chest because of the pain.

Fast forward to her first post-birth appointment and I was still feeling overwhelmed.  S. had already returned to work, so it was just my oldest (who was kind enough to accompany) and I.  The baby had lost so much weight, but was slowly gaining.  She wasn't at birth weight and the pediatrician, while not worried, wanted me to come back in two weeks to ensure the baby was continuing to grow.  Fortunately for me, she's a great eater and has gained much more already.

Back to the baby blues.  My mother came to visit her new granddaughter when the baby was about two weeks old.  Bless her for recognizing that I needed a bit of alone time to get acclimated to the baby before visiting.  When she arrived, I was just getting into the hang of scheduling (or attempting to), but felt more than a bit overwhelmed.  She sat beside me on the couch and I started crying because I felt woefully inadequate and honestly, things have been a bit strained in my household lately.  She gave me the biggest and best hug, told me it would be okay, and tried to assist in whatever way I needed while she was here.

I only needed her to be available, not necessarily do anything.  I just liked the idea of her being able to if needed.  Mama's baby indeed.

Right now, the baby is nestled snugly in her bassinet.  I am catching up on Cosby Show and blog posts and looking forward to the couple of hours that I'll have to sleep.

I promise to be in touch soon!

Have a great evening.