Showing posts with label faith. holiday. Show all posts

Thanksgiving Recap


Hello everyone! I am hoping you had an amazing Thanksgiving and that it was so very blessed in the Lord. This was the first year in about four that S. and I did not host Thanksgiving. Our sister in love did a fantastic job and we were so glad to be able to make a few dishes, come to her and my brother in love’s home, and just enjoy the day.

Happy Resurrection Sunday


    HAPPY RESURRECTION SUNDAY!  HAPPY EASTER!!
   HE HAS RISEN!  
                            THE SAVIOR LIVES!!



As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.  6 “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ ”
                                                                                                                     Mark 16:5-7

IVF CD22: The TWW (4dp5dt)

You can say that again!

Can I be really open with you all? I hate the TWW (two week wait). I do. I just do. Since the first month of ttc naturally, to the first IUI, to this very first IVF, I absolutely abhor the TWW. Sigh. I am trying VERY hard not to symptom spot, but I can’t help it. I sit and work and I’m bloated. Am I bloated from the progesterone or am I pregnant? I’m super sleepy after lunch. Is it the “itis” or am I tired because I’m pregnant? I’m feeling this very peculiar pinprick pain in one specific location in my ovaries. What is it? Pregnant or gas?

Ugh, seriously. I’m about to drive myself up a wall. Fortunately, I’ve not mentioned any of these symptoms or non-symptoms to S. He’s the sane one and always says “let’s not get too overexcited. We don’t want to get our hopes up”. True. We don’t, but we do. I really want to know what our baby(ies) are doing in there. I know the key is to keep your mind occupied. Fortunately, it seems like that will come sooner than later today.

Our eldest has his Back to School night (only it has been changed to Family Night to encourage everyone to come and try the new curriculum module activities). Great. I’ve no problem with that at. We’ve even managed to carve out some time with our son’s teacher. We’ve noticed some behavior we aren’t too thrilled with that we are attributing to hormones and growing up. He isn’t too excited about turning in assignments or focusing. He comes by that naturally. I’m so easily distracted sometimes. It doesn’t surprise me that he is too. But, it’s becoming a concern for S. and I because we want to make sure he has a successful and productive academic year. If we can get everyone—teacher, student, parent, administrators, etc. on the same page, we think it will be great. So, after the Family Night, S. and I are going to sit and converse with his teacher a bit about the best way to proceed going forward. Our goal is to make sure that he is doing everything he needs to do to succeed and that we are doing everything we can do to support him and his teacher.

Tomorrow, I’m taking our fur babies to the vet to have their nails trimmed. I don’t know what I was thinking when I scheduled at 10 in the morning, knowing that I’d still have to come to work, but navigating the time will keep my mind off things.  I'll sign back on after our meeting tonight.
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I'm back.  The parent teacher conference was productive, but not amazing.  We need to keep the eldest more focused and so we're going to try some things at the house to allow the school to supplement.  We need him to do better and be better.  Nothing bad.  Nothing wrong.  He's just being a little boy, but we need him to be more focused as it will definitely benefit him in the long run.

Now, it's back to the PM dosage of meds, my teacup of Pom, and my evening pineapple core.  Anything to help these babies stick.  I read online via IVFConnections due date calendar that today I should be 3 weeks and 2 days.  So, that's obviously way too early for me to even consider testing this week.  Maybe I'll try and convince S. to do so next week.  Then again, maybe not.  

Have a very great evening and I will write you all again soon.

-K

IVF CD22 Medications
  • Estradol- 2 pills taken orally (1 AM/1 PM)
  • Endometrin- 1 vaginal insert 3 times a day
IVF CD22 Symptoms
  • Occasional cramps (probable cause fertility meds)
IVF CD21 Developments
  • None to report
Next Appointment
  • Beta test day- 28 Oct 2016



IVF CD21: And then there were none (3dp5dt) ...


So, there I was trying to convince myself that I absolutely would NOT google track symptoms or lack thereof.  I also promised myself that I would not stress.  No matter what happened, no matter what came, no matter what I thought or may not have thought about symptoms, I would not stress!

Then, I received a phone call.  It was late.  I was supposed to have heard from our nurse A. yesterday regarding the remaining embryo and if it made it to freeze.  When I didn’t get a call, I thought nothing about it.  Today, I decided to call her and her voicemail let me know she was out of the office on conference this week.  No biggie.  I figured I’d leave a message with the front desk when I returned from lunch.  They beat me to it.


One of the nurses, G., is filling in for A. while she is away.  She called and informed me that we actually had two remaining embryos trying hard to divide after transfer.  They tried.  One made it a bit further than his brother.  Then, they both stopped.  No more dividing.  The clinic gave them 7 full days just to see if the extra time would help them divide.  It didn’t.

So, there are no embryos to freeze.  If this doesn’t work….if the two beautiful babies who are currently (hopefully) attaching and growing decide not to stick around, we will have to start all over.  And just like that, I felt the cramps and the sadness.

I know I shouldn’t give up.  I’m not.  I know I shouldn’t count our transferred babies out.  I haven’t.  But I feel loss for the emrbyos that didn't make it.   I’m still hoping and praying we have a great result and soon!

Have a great evening!

-K

IVF CD20 Medications
  • Estradol - 2 pills taken orally (1 AM/1 PM)
  • Endometrin- 1 vaginal insert 3 times a day
IVF CD20 Symptoms
  • Cramps off and on (probable cause is endometrin)
  • Slight nausea (probable cause is endometrin)
IVF CD20 Developments
  • No call about embryos for freeze report

IVF CD21 Medications
  • Estradol- 2 pills taken orally (1 AM/1 PM)
  • Endometrin- 1 vaginal insert 3 times a day
IVF CD21 Symptoms
  • Cramps off and on (probable cause is endometrin)
  • Slight occurrence of nausea today (probable cause is fertility meds)
IVF CD21 Developments
  • No embryos made it to freeze
Next Appointment
  • Beta test day- 28 Oct 2016

IVF CD19: A thief! (Non-ttc related)


 *This post is non-TTC related with the exception of the at-a-glance section at the bottom.  

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Well, if I were looking for a way to keep my mind occupied as we enter out #TWW, I’ve located one!
This morning, S. discovered that someone had broken into his work office and stole his personal laptop and professional video camera (both used daily for his job). The video camera was an industry pro and utilized as he handles his company’s media, editing, and layout. The laptop is his and is loaded with his professional software (he self-purchased) and all of that cost a lot. But even worse, (because tangible material stuff can be replaced), the laptop has our family’s personal information on. Socials, addresses, budget spreadsheets, appointments, etc. All of it. And someone just walked away with ALL of it.

When he told me, my mind wanted to panic. But I managed to sigh and take a deep breath. The discharge instructions and our nurse have clearly said NOT to stress during the next few days. I couldn’t get crazy. So, I listened as S. and I created a divide and conquer plan. I’ve contacted the credit bureaus and have initiated fraud alerts to prevent new accounts and credit from being opened. I’ve also contacted my companies’ security office(s) to make sure they are aware of it in case anything untoward happens.

The good news is I had a colleague tell me that the operating system that S. uses is one of the most difficult to encrypt and even if by some magic they were able to use the computer, they wouldn’t be able to access the files without being a hacker extraordinaire based on the additional protocols we use. That made me feel better. The bad news is the computer also had some sentimental pictures and things on it that are irreplaceable. Those things S. can’t get back and as he isn’t a big fan of clouds. It can pretty much be counted gone.  Also, are the notes and projects he has already started for his job.  That's okay though.  He is still in good spirits and I know it will be okay.

I hope everyone has a good evening and I will write again, soon.

-K


IVF CD19 Medications

  • Estradol - 2 pills taken orally (1 AM/1 PM)
  • Endometrin- 1 vaginal insert 3 times a day
IVF CD19 Symptoms
  • Cramps off and on (probable cause is endometrin)
  • Fatigue (probable cause is endometrin)
IVF CD19 Developments
  • Nothing worth mentioning
Next Appointment
  • Beta test day- 28 Oct 2016

IVF CD18: Babies Onboard!- The Embryo Transfer story

DISCLAIMER:  This post was written on the day of transfer, 16 Oct 2016.  I fell asleep before posting.  So I am posting today on 17 Oct 2016.  Thanks!

-K
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Hello everyone!

Today was our embryo transfer day! Oh my, what a day it has been lol.  I have to tell you that I may have the new record for funniest patient in our clinic's roster.  I'll get to that shortly.

This morning, I woke up and lay beside S. just enjoying the quiet time with him.  He was disappointed that he wouldn't be able to join me because someone would need to be with our children and make sure the family made it to church on time.  (For those new to the blog, we have a 10 yo from a previous relationship (mine-ours) and a beautiful 2 yo through adoption).  None of our family are aware we are undergoing fertility treatment, so we couldn't ask any of them to watch the kids without a lengthy Q&A because it is extremely rare for us to miss church.  Since lying is out of the question, it just made more sense for him to stay with the kids.  We discussed and how many embryos we would like to transfer (we weren't even sure how many were in place at this point), and before you knew it was time to go.

I started drinking my 24-26 ounces in the car as directed and was more than ready by the time I pulled into the clinic parking lot.  Unfortunately, they were not lol.  I suddenly became aware that my sitting down was adding more pressure to my bladder and my walking around the lobby to prevent myself from going to the potty was not helping.  I finally went to the lobby and BEGGED if I could void just a bit because I didn't think I could sit for the estimated 30 minutes it would take from then to exit of the clinic.  The receptionist was kind enough to direct me to the bathroom with the instructions to count to five and then stop.  (I'd been through something similar in my past so I knew I could stop mid-stream).

Gotta go!!!

I did that and it didn't help at all lol.  But I managed to go into the back room when called and strip waist down and cover my nether regions with a sheet--for about five minutes.  Suddenly, I had to go SO bad that I was literally in pain.I got up and walked around the tiny treatment room talking aloud to myself that I didn't have to go and it was all in my brain.  (If someone were watching on a camera, they'd have thought I'd suddenly lost it.)  After five more minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I opened the door, peaked in the hall, and announced to the nurse that I needed to drain something or we would have a cleanup on aisle 4.  They laughed and told me not to empty completely, just take a little off the top.  This repeated itself twice.

Finally, the doctor came in the treatment room with the sonographer and went over the day's plan.  In our previous post, I mentioned that we had 12 eggs retrieved, 9 were were mature, and 4 fertilized. We knew that they were still dividing on day two but had no update since then.  Well, our RE now informed me that one didn't want to play and completely stopped.  One had reached blastocyst stage and was beautiful.  The last two were dividing albeit at a bit slower pace.  So, there were three in the game.

After much thought and discussion, I stuck to the discussion S. and I had this morning.  We decided to transfer two.  It just made sense when we remembered the low sperm count, the IUI failure, the success of only 33% of the eggs retrieved, and  so much more.  So, our RE gave us the risks and pros and cons, and then I signed the paperwork for two embryos (embabies) to be transferred!

Dr. G. (our RE) prepped me for transfer and confirmed that my bladder was the perfect amount of full for them to have a clear picture of my uterus.  While she was doing this our embryologist left to assist the second embryo in hatching and to collect both embryos in a transfer catheter.  The cool part about all of this is I'm watching the selection and capture on the screen above my sonographer's head.  I saw my name come up along with my patient ID number and then my beautiful embabies!

My beautiful babies
The catheter was then inserted in me and my babies deposited snug in my uterus with a gentle puff of air.  Snug as a bug!  The catheter was then removed and checked to make sure it was empty. Dr. G wished me good luck and congratulations, asked me lie down for five minutes, await discharge instructions from the nurse, and wished me a great day.  The embryologist came in with the above photo of our babies!!!  Yay!!! Two babies on board!  Stick, babies, stick!

The nurse came relatively quickly and gave me a bunch on post instructions.  No heavy lifting (>25 pounds), no high impact aerobics, low impact aerobics may only include walking.  No intercourse or orgasms for five days.  Nothing too stringent.  After she left, I practically ran to the bathroom to relieve my bladder (which hated me by the way), came back and collected my things and departed with two embryos comfortably riding.

When in the parking lot to go home, it hit me that for all intents and purposes, I am pregnant and carrying two little babies inside me.  I had myself a good cry and a good prayer time in the car.  No matter what happens, I thank and praise God for His provision.  We've come a long way in this journey.  We never would have made it this far without Him.

So, that's my transfer story.  I'll be waiting for a call to see if our remaining baby has made it to freezable.  And I'll be checking in during our TWW to keep you updated!  Have a great day!

-K

IVF CD18 Medications

  • Estradol  -   2 pills taken orally (1 AM/1 PM)
  • Endometrin- 1 vaginal insert 3 times a day

IVF CD18 Symptoms
  • Cramps in abdomen (probable cause is endometrin)
IVF CD18 Developments
  • Two embryos transferred today!!
  • TWW starts tomorrow (Booooo)
Next Appointment
  • Beta test day- 28 Oct 2016



Because he's such an amazing father...

I'm a few days late in posting.  My apologies.  It's been kind of stressful in our world.  S.'s mom was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness that required hospitalization and some very frank conversations.  S. was at the hospital and in the company of medical professionals more than he saw the inside of his home.  It's been very stressful to say the least.   But I admire so much the strength, grace, and faith in which he has handled everything.

He is the go to person in his family.  Both of his parents and all of his siblings depend on his clear head and God-given wisdom.  It is apparent in the way he carries himself that God is truly with him. I believe it is a comfort to his family just knowing he is there.  It also helps that our entire family's core is built on nothing less than faith, prayer, and obedience to God.  Still, our prayers have constant for healing and restoration.

This week, I've watched my husband play chauffeur, legal analyst, technical writer, and interpreter for all of the various tasks that fell to him.  He handled them well, though I saw the strain that others did not.  Tonight, my mother in law rest comfortably in bed at home, full of smiles and peace, released from the hospital with a plan of attack for the foreseeable future and things have, for all intents and purposes, returned to a semblance of normalcy.

This weekend, the normalcy was babysitting.  I came home from work yesterday to find the delightful joy of a house FULL of children.  My nephews (both preschoolers) and niece (elementary aged) were visiting for a sleepover.  Their parents had an out of town engagement and S. and I agreed to watch the kids for them. It's been a blast.  Our children are around the same ages as my niece and  nephews.  When the kids get together, it's nonstop action and a lot of squeals and peals of laughter.

One of the things that was so striking in this visit is witnessing S. interact with his nephews.  My husband really is a great father.  I don't tell him enough, hardly ever, but my goodness.  He's really good.  I mean.  I know that already.  He's been amazing with our children.  Our son, mine from a previous relationship, is truly his son in every way except biological.  And though our son's biological father is active and supportive in his life, our son reaps the benefits of having S., his bonus father, in his life as well.  The same is to be said about our daughter, whose adoption was only recently finalized.  S. is amazing with her.  It is like he was put on this earth to be a father.  He is patient beyond all fault, fair in discipline, and purposeful in his actions.  Even when I don't agree with some of the execution, I have to acknowledge that S. is really being a great dad.

But this weekend, he has been amazing.  He's kept them entertained with all sorts of creative games. He has given baths.  He's taught the little ones that they "can" do something when they believe that they are too little to do it by themselves.  He's made them laugh.  [And]  When they have been a bit too active, he's gently guided them to an appropriate level.  He has been awesome.

There is no wonder that I desire to see him continue being a great father to a child conceived during our marriage.  We both have a strong desire for more children--both through adoption and biologically.  It would be a wonderful blessing to see S. cut the cord for a child or see the heartbeat flutter on the screen of an ultrasound.

So, I'm thinking of having a conversation with S., after our guests return to their home, while we are able to spend a bit of time by ourselves.  I think I want to try another IUI.  I know.  I know.  The chances are slim with S.'s count, but I've been doing research.  There are things we can do naturally that may increase his sperm numbers.  The endocrinologist said there was nothing that he saw that readily explained S.'s low numbers and that it could have been that he was simply "past his prime". So, I'm thinking about getting some of the fertility vitamins I've been reading so much about and taking them as well as having S. take the complementary male vitamins.

Maybe the numbers will improve.  Maybe another IUI would work.  Maybe an IVF wouldn't be necessary.  Since, we're not in a position to do an IVF right now, an IUI would be a more easily attainable goal.  But do I try it especially with all that is going on right now.

There are a bunch of doctor appointments that S. will be attending over the next few weeks.  There will be a bunch of doctor appointments that I would like to accompany him and my mother in law to over the next few weeks.  Where would RE appointments fit in with all of that?  Could we do it?  Can we do it.

It appears it is time to have a discussion.  Let's see where this road leads us.  I'll check in with you guys later and let you know what we come up with.

Have a great evening.
-K

Happy New Year!


Happy New Year, everyone!  It's the first day of 2016 and I feel wonderful.  Last night my family and I bought in our new year at our church's annual Watch Night Service.  I was so blessed to be there, so happy to be able to sing praises to God.

I know 2016 will be an amazing year and it isn't because of pregnancy (though that would be icing on the cake).  I just feel like 2016 is going to be a year of great, a year of purpose, a year of faith.  I'm looking forward to seeing all that is coming this year.

In the mean time, I'm about to continue this Southern tradition.  Black eyed peas, collard greens, and cornbread on deck.  And I'll add that baked chicken as a bonus.

Happy New Year!!!!

-K