Social media etiquette

Hello everyone!

So, I've posted about this before.  Well, I've shared it on Instagram.  You all know how I feel about spilling the beans before family right? Well, it happened again and this time, I just HAD to share about it.

Literally, the day before yesterday, I saw yet another post on one of the pregnancy boards I follow of a tiny graphic reminding people not to share parent’s baby announcement news before the parents could do so themselves. I looked at it and thought that no one would really be that crass, but I was wrong. 

Last night, I logged on to FB to see that the parents, sister, and friend of one of my associates had just posted the news that the associate had given birth. They gave name and time of birth. I looked on her page and saw no mention from her at all. I suddenly felt annoyed for her.  I am not there so I don’t know the situation. Maybe she asked them to post. Maybe she gave them permission. But the only thing I could think was this beautiful mom and dad had just given birth to their first child and were basking in the glow of that child while simultaneously trying to recuperate and a great and personal moment was taken from them.

I would be furious. S. and I have tried to conceive this child for 4.5 years. Calendars, positions, blood work, needles, hormones, surgeries, retrievals, transfers, lab work, prayers. We did it all trying to get to this moment. I would be so hurt if I wasn’t even allowed the opportunity to share the moment with the world in a way and time I chose. S. probably won’t care, but I would love to have a mini collage. One of the new baby, one of each of the kids holding the baby, and then one of the entire family. Or not even. Just one of the baby. If my mother or sisters in love posted before I was ready, I’d be more than hurt. I’d be livid.

I wondered if this was just an isolated case. Sadly, it isn’t. Google it. You’ll see tons of posts where parents were hurt, angry, furious, heartbroken that someone had overshared. I would hate that. A while ago, I posted that S. and I were discussing not letting anyone know the baby was here until after we were back home. He has the large family. I have a pretty good size of extended family, several of whom are clamoring to see the newest blessing.

That’s just more than I want right now. I know people will be upset but I’d rather have the peace of mind of knowing that should I want to share, I can do so…on my own time. So, after deep discussion, S. and I have decided that we will keep the news of our little one's arrival private until we get home.  Because I know that my husband can be emotional (it's so amazing to see him tear up) and may change his mind about sharing, this following text message would be sent to our parents only. Siblings will be told later.

Good morning/afternoon/evening! We just wanted to let you know that Baby XXX has made his/her arrival at _______am/pm. Mom and baby are doing____________________. Right now, we are only telling immediate family so PLEASE do NOT post on ANY social media or share this text about the baby until we are ready to do so ourselves. It took us quite a bit of time to get to this moment and we would like to bask in it privately for a while. Also, Mom’s a little tired right now, so please give her a few hours before calling or making plans to visit.

We think this will work.  How about you?  Any one doing a delayed announcement for fear of family spilling the beans?



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