8dp5dt: Just keep swimming

Sorry, I've been a bit absent.  Truth be told, I wanted a little time to catch my breath from the past couple of days.  On 5dp5dt, I was feeling really, really bummed because I didn't feel anything.  By anything, I mean anything.  I have been pregnant before.  I've even had chemical pregnancies advance with pretty convincing symptoms.  This time I felt nothing.  Not even a little bit.  I was disappointed and figured I was out completely.  So, I decided to log onto Instagram and saw several of my fellow #TTCsisters showing pregnancy tests at 5 and 6 days past transfer with faint lines and not so faint lines. I figured if I wasn't feeling anything and the test could confirm that, then at least I would know right?  I am also more than able to admit that there was a part of me that would see a line on my test.  It worked...kind of.

I found a couple of tests still in the house from my last testing frenzy.  The problem is they were blue dye tests.  Every single false positive or chemical pregnancy test result I have ever received has been from a blue dye test.  So, while I didn't want to necessarily put my trust in the test, I used what I had and this happened....

Hope your resolution is up.  There's a faint blue line behind that horizontal.

I had a positive.  Faint, but it was there.  Or was it.  Because I have come to trust the honest opinions of the ladies in our #TTCcommunity, I posted the result and asked for opinions.  Everyone saw the same vertical blue line.  BUT, several of the sisters admonished me to remember what I already knew. Blue dye tests are unreliable.  They asked me to try the first response early response test.

Well, silly me, I grabbed the wrong ones and got the first response rapid response tests instead.  They don't provide early pregnancy results.  So, I came up with this when I tried.

The top two were taken 5dp5dt.  The bottom two were taken at 6dp5t.
The CBs are the only ones that register positive.

There were no clear positives on the FRRR tests.  So, discouraged, I promised myself that I would not test again until beta.  But I was fooling myself.  I was so disappointed because yesterday, all I felt was a bit of nausea.  Even that was come and go.  I just wanted to see the test again.  Just to be sure.

No doubt there, it's negative
And with that, here we are.  I will not test again.  I know the result.  I know that it's done.  I know that we we have to try again.  I know that we are fortunate to have five more chances before it's up for us. I am trying to have hope, but I'm pretty sure this cycle is a loss for us.

I'll keep you updated on Friday when we finally have our 14-day beta.

Have a great day.

-K

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