Remembering Mama and how I measure up





I have to be honest. I’ve tried to write this post for three days now. Every single time, I am pulled away from it or I can’t make myself complete it. It isn’t for lack of desire. No, not at all. It’s the complete opposite. How can I properly record the monumental woman my great-grandmother was in such a small space. It’s next to impossible.

If you follow the blog, you’ll know that my great-grandmother raised me from three weeks of age until I graduated from high school and left for college. She was, for all intents and purposes, my Mama. No knock on my mother. She loves me and did what she needed to do to ensure I had a safe and positive upbringing and I am thankful to this day for her. (Love you, Mommy!) But Mama (my great-grandmother) was Mama for a very long time.

Three years ago today, this amazingly beautiful and wonderful soul passed from this world to the next. She is happily resting in paradise until the day of our Lord’s return. Her death hurt. It wasn’t unexpected as the ravages of dementia and Alzheimer’s had laid their claim to her, but it hurt nonetheless.

Mama was everything. She was a powerful prayer warrior. She was an amazing cook. She had this wonderful ability to keep a clean home. She was a full time missionary just by being herself. If a neighbor was ill, Mama was there and available. If a new baby had been born, Mama was sewing (in the early days) a new item or purchasing a new outfit. Mama offered sage advice. She represented the epitome of womanhood. I loved her so very much and I have always hoped to be like her as a Christian woman.

To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve been measuring up that well. Mama kept a clean home. Honey, I’m lucky if I can find time to sweep let alone dust. Our home is by no means filthy, but a little pick me up is more than warranted. Mama was a phenomenal cook. Do you know how many days I came home and Mama had a meal waiting for us, even with a little bit of food? I try to follow meal plans and get things prepared for our family. While I manage to plate a meal most evenings, I’m so frazzled by the end of it that I just wanted to sleep. I didn’t enjoy the preparation.

Mama never got into conflict and was always able to keep her cool.  I find myself tired and frustrated some days.  I can't  keep myself grounded no matter how hard I try.  But even with all of that craziness, I know one thing..

Mama is in a great place.  I know she is resting and blessed.  I lover her and I know she loves me.  And I'm looking forward to seeing her again.

-Winter Mommy

2 comments

  1. Aww thing brings tears to my eyes. She's resting well my dear..resting well. I know it hurts, but her labor and love was not done in vain at all. You try and try hard. As long as you are seeking after the Lord that's all she could ever ask for. It's not her she wants you to be like, it's HIM. And you're doing just that. Love you!

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  2. Thanks, Shawnell. I appreciate that. Love you back. I hope you and your family are having an amazing day.

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