Showing posts with label blood woork. Show all posts

IUI #1 =BFN

I received the call from my nurse. She didn’t even have to say anything. It was all in her voice. It was negative. Why does that word hurt so freaking much? Negative. You know, the Christian in me knows that my will isn’t always going to line up to God’s timing. I know that I’m simply going to have to accept that it wasn’t time. That doesn’t stop me from hurting right now. I’m so angry. I’m so hurt. I’m so emotional.

BFN!!!
And on top of that, the MOMENT she said negative my cramps kicked into overtime as if they were announcing that my cycle has ALWAYS been ready to go; I was just fooling myself to think otherwise. I…am..so..hurt. I haven’t even told S. yet. I don’t want to tell him that over the phone. I’m at work another few hours at least before I can go home AND I have class tonight. Who the blood clot wants to go to class after that? But I have to because I have finals. Ugh….And there is no one I can talk to, no one I cry on because as wonderful as S. is, he’s going to hold it in. That’s him. And none of our friends know we’re undergoing this procedure. Nor does our family. So, I get to stand beside my beautiful loved ones with their burgeoning bellies and deal. I feel like I shouldn’t be hurt. I feel like I’m being ungrateful because God has granted us two children. But…still….

I don’t need to write a long prose or long drawn out letter. The test came back and it’s negative. Let the eating of carbs and sweets begin.


5:29PM

Having had a bit of time to process the events of today, I still find that I'm hurt and disappointed.  I'm just thankful that S. is the man that he is.  We simply started discussing what our next steps would be.  We don't know yet.  We know that we have dialed our RE nurse and will be discussing IVF as an option tomorrow. That's so much more expensive that we even want to consider right now, but we have to try.  I just pray it works, whatever it is.

-K


And it's a go!

Sorry to hold you in suspense.  I really should have shared everything with you when I returned home, but it was a ridiculously busy day in my household.  Between errands and celebrations and birthday phone calls, and no sleep...yep, it was a day.

So, here's where we are.  I went in to the secondary location to have my blood drawn.  They then checked my follicle size.  The first one measured 18.7 which is great!  Our optimum number is 18, so we're above that.  We saw one more on the same right side which measured 19.  So, we were given the go ahead to proceed with the IUI!  

I took my trigger shot of Ovidrel (250ml) last night.  Amazing how much easier it was to administer it once I'd already tackled the Gonal-F injections earlier this week.  It took me less than 3 minutes to do it and most of that was making sure I'd cleaned the area and had the bandage for the pinprick.  

My DH and I enjoyed some one on one intimacy and are now prepping for an IUI on tomorrow.  I'm a bit nervous.  I certainly hope it works on the first try.  That would really be a great and wonderful gift.

Today, S. and I have just been spending some time together enjoying each other's company. Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day for sure.

Prayers and baby dust.
K